Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Fuck Thanksgiving.

I just couldn't do it. I couldn't. I can't pretend to be happy on that day. I can't be thankful on that day. I can't be around all my relatives, pregnant relatives, happy relatives. My dad was a complete jerk about it when I called him. "Get with it" he said. I'm so sick of his 'toughen up' attitude. I'm just going to treat tomorrow like any other day, take a bath, watch movies, and not think about turkey or family.

I don't think I'll ever be able to celebrate it again. My second favorite holiday, all the family, all the food, none of the gifts, one more thing to mourn.

I just want my Myles, how can I be thankful? I was so thankful last year, 37 weeks, my little turkey Myles was cooked.

MISSing Myles, wishing my family understood, but I don't think they ever will.

7 comments:

c. said...

You'll get through it, any way you have to.

It's hard having the anniversary on a traditional day of celebration. Halloween was hard this year for me, trying to pretend for the sake of my kids and family.

I wish your Myles was here, anarchist mom. I wish. I wish. I wish. Keeping you in my thoughts and heart. Good luck tomorrow.

anarchist mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ya Chun said...

I'm not doing the holidays this year and I don't care if anyone thinks that's dumb or wants me to fake it. I get you.

Julia said...

Good plan there.

And it sounds like your sister might want to talk to your dad, and maybe bring something to hit him over the head with. You know, for emphasis.

Kafiri said...

I came across this review that might interest those who come to this blog: http://www.cgjungpage.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=894&Itemid=1

The subject is: "The Worst Club," and reviews 2 books about loosing a child.

Karin said...

One of the great things about living in Australia is that none of the traditions of my childhood happen here. It's saved me a ton of anguish in those first years.

Christmas isn't even 'right' since it's summer. Santas are sweating like pigs in their fur lined suits in the 30C+ temps.

So my advice, move to Australia and hang out with me!

(((((((((Hugs))))))))))))I know it is hard. I do. :-(

Dr. Joanne Cacciatore said...

I call them Helladays depending on the year...