I'm back from the Affective Disorders unit at the hospital (the Psych ward). The grief finally caught up with me I've been there since Wednesday and got discharged about an hour ago. I wish I could say I'm feeling better, but I just found out my cousin died. His mom is such a special lady, his kids are such beautiful kids, my heart is in pain for them. He was a wonderful father and son, please keep my family in NY in your thoughts.
Because I have a mental illness, I will write about my experiences, because of the stigma, I will write about my experiences, I feel it weighing on me. So, I will write, like I always do, my friends, and because you're my friends, you'll listen I hope.
I want to survive, I will survive. It's just soooooo hard when you feel so down about yourself that you think you're doing other's a favor. That's how backwards your thinking can get. It's scary having thoughts you can't control, it's the most frightening thing I've experienced. It really is mental illness, I can't describe it (but has that ever stopped me from trying? smile:).