Monday, February 11, 2008

Big accomplishment, MISSing Angels Bill

I'm experiencing so many emotions right now, so much happiness, and such deep sadness, and so much relief, and thank you all so much for writing letters. I just started sobbing, driving home in my car, and sitting here, and how can somebody feel so many emotions at once?

There were four of us who testified before the HHS committee today, I didn't get to see Barack because we were last on the schedule, but I could care less. The HHS committee was wonderful, empathetic, understanding, the Bill couldn't have been received better or with more compassion for us and our families. Our Senator, and her aid are my heroes; their whole office, they are such wonderful women. And they think that this could move through committee quite quickly and be on the floor in a matter of weeks. I will keep you updated when it comes up for a vote, our work isn't done, but we've really made so much progress.

I just want to say that this meant so much to me, I tried not to let it because I know how it feels to work SO HARD for something, to invest so much, to put every ounce of your being into something, and to have done it for nothing. And I've tried so hard not to get my hopes up, expecting the worst to happen. I'm so afraid to hope. So afraid to get the rug pulled out from under me again. And I'm not just sad, and relieved, but I'm also terrified that this is just going to be a moment where I fail again. But today was a great victory, getting our MISSing Angels Bill through committee, and I have to hope that this was not for nothing.

My son means everything to me, and my biggest fear is that he will be only a sad memory. That his short life could have a positive impact to help other mom's like me, well I'm just sobbing thinking about it and I can't tell if it is from happiness or sadness. It's both. I wish he was in my arms now, but I can't go back, I can only go forward.

Thank you, MISSter, for walking those halls with me and being such a great coordinator. I could've never done this alone, we're a helluva team, girl!!!!!

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